Cousin Scrivven
Worshipers: Sylphs, proteans, vaporighus, goblins, barbarians, jesters, gnome soldiers. Symbol: A cloud with a smiley face. Sacred Animal: The cow. Sacred Raiment: The outfits of clowns, jesters and simpletons are favored, though generally adjusted to be practical for wartime. Favored Weapon: The guisarme. The "black sheep" of her family, Cousin Scrivven is a decidedly unorthodox war god. She has nothing against war, exactly. War is a great way to pass the time, if it's for a decent reason. Casualties are rough, but that's what happens when you swing an axe at someone's head, you know. She just hates it when people insist on taking it all too seriously. To Scrivven and her worshipers, war is a game, and ruining dramatic moments is pretty much their favorite pastime. Cousin Scrivven usually manifests as a large cow or giant bombardier beetle, sometimes with the torso and face of a young humanoid woman. Her avatar invariably releases clouds of noxious gas with every step. Scrivven's clerics can cast stinking cloud as a third-level spell. Cousin Scrivven favors nonlethal methods of resolving battles, and loves to "crash" skirmishes she has no place in. It has happened more than once that two enemy armies, hardened, weary, ready to fight to the death for all that they believe in at the climax of a bloody war, are interrupted by a roving band of clowns with guisarmes and stinkbombs. If through her intervention casualties can be reduced, Cousin Scrivven doesn't really care if the "wrong" side wins—reducing deaths is more important to her than ephemeral ideas like "truth" or "justice". That said, her top priority is always comedic timing. Her evil followers will not hesitate to hit a paladin in the face with a pie, even if it causes her to lose her death match with the enemy blackguard commander. Her church has many enemies and few real friends, though some more peaceful deities do cautiously commend her drive to minimize senseless bloodshed. But not out loud. "Don't encourage her," they say. "Just keep walking and hope they don't decide you'd look funnier covered in cow s&!&." Relations: Scrivven's relationships with other gods are...complicated. She is great friends with Bolaro, god of humor, and claims to have taught him all he knows. He says the exact same thing about her. They do have some strong moral differences that cause significant strife between their followings (such as when Scrivven's worshipers crash a battle between clearly evil orc hordes and the defenders), but they also share many holidays and celebrations. Other martial gods tend to get along very poorly with her, however. "Poorly" being a cage term for "the evil ones attack her followers on sight". Saeet, god of mercenaries and punishment, is something of an archnemesis to Scrivven—her church disrupts his operations as best they can, more because they find it hilarious than because they necessarily resent his evil ways. For his part, Saeet tells his followers to make the deaths of Scriven's faithful extra slow. For practical, deterrant-based reasons, of course. Vonheim, god of shadow warfare and demon slaying, wouldn't think much about Scrivven either way, except for that one vaporighu incident. Knowing that to actually target her would be somewhat morally gray, he gives his followers a simple phrase of advice: "Just ignore them and maybe they'll just...go away." Evoco and Cousin Scrivven agree in basic philosophies—they're both tactical gods who employ dishonorable, even unsavory tactics in war. Scrivven's followers have disrupted his own one too many times, though. As such, Evoco has given his followers free leave to kill any Scrivvenites who get in the way, as such inconveniences cannot be tolerated in wartime. Mokker, lizardfolk god of corruption, likes to have his followers blow up the Scrivvenites with their own methane. He has repeatedly attempted to outright kill Cousin Scrivven, but has yet to succeed. Vyzyx, god of wrathful genocide, has frequently clashed with her as well, and the two once allied to seal her in a mystical prison on the Elemental Plane of Earth. She escaped only recently, and still seeks revenge. Grashar, goddess of war and patron of lycanthropes, does not get along well with Scrivven. Oh, Grashar has nothing in particular against Scrivven—jokes are all well and good, and some of Scrivven's more destructive pranks are really kind of funny. But Cousin Scrivven insists to this day that Grashar broke her guisarme, which, she assures her followers and anyone else who will listen, used to be twice as long. She doesn't dare actually target the fearsome deity, but likes to passive-aggressively distribute caricatured, highly sexualized drawings of lycanthropes throughout the multiverse. Even for Scrivven, this is really petty, and only her most ardent supporters really try to defend it. Several eons ago, Cousin Scrivven made the mistake of antagonizing Batte a bit too close. She barely survived the experience, and only thanks to Batte's mercy. Disliking Scrivven is one of the one things Garrikhan, Father of Sieges, and Batte agree on. Chatru, Seduction of the Reave, terrifies Scrivven, and she uncharacteristically advises her followers to aid in fights against him. She also has a bit of a hatecrush on him. Category:Deity Category:Chaos Category:Made by Kobold Cleaver